Waiting to Exhale...

We finally can exhale, at least a small breath for now. We passed with good news on another round of tests on Sydney. This was by far the most stressful for Bernard and I, of course he is much more composed than I, I could still tell that he was nervous. We had an MRI scheduled in S.F. in the morning. That makes for a cheery start to the morning having to drive a 5 month old, food deprived baby in traffic with no toll money to cross the bridge; on top of the anxiety with having to sedate Sydney for this test.

We made it about a half hour late, but luckily they still took us. I couldn't imagine having to do it all again. After running all over the hospital trying to get her registered. Poor Bernard had to hunt us down because he couldn't fit in the crowded elevator with the stroller. Then someone had to point out that she had a "bilateral hearing loss at such a young age" to everyone in the elevator. But then someone else had a more positive thing to say... she is a beautiful baby. I liked the latter comment better. Let's keep it positive. I had a quick tear as I stepped off the elevator and then off to the MRI room.

The interview with the anesthesiologist was a little more rushed than I would've liked, he wasn't the doctor they told me we were going to have and I did no research on him, but I was little more reassured when I saw his picture hanging up on the wall as the department head. It was hard to leave Sydney with the doctor, she was as happy as could be and had no idea what was about to happen, I don't know if that made it better or worse when I left. Then we had to take out her hearing aids, which always kills me because than I feel she is really vulnerable. We waited anxiously until the doctor's told us it was all done. We went back down the hall just in time to see Sydney's poor little limp body being set onto a giant gurney. She had an IV in and a mask on and they whisked us down the hallway into recovery. The doctor said not to disturb her and let her wake up naturally. This was really difficult, my heart was breaking inside. After about an hour in recovery and still little sign of an awakening Sydney, the nurse said I could feed her. I quickly jumped at the chance to hold her and she nursed just as she does at night when she is half asleep. Phew...than when she was all done her little brown eyes popped open and she started squealing her happy squeals like she does at o'dark thirty in the morning. I was so relieved, we made it over another hump, now for the results.

After waiting three agonizing days, I got an e-mail from the neurologist telling me they didn't see anything causing the head tilt or the hearing loss. So, essentially that rules out auditory nerve damage, cochlear malformations, enlarged vestibular aqueduct, tumors, brain damage etc. Basically a lot of scary possibilities. So as her pediatrician always says "this is good news". We are thankful that it appears that hearing loss is all we are dealing with.